Name:Cathy * Ngoc Hang * Cat Birthday:10/22/1980 Gender:Female
Interests:traveling, socializing, fine dining, drinking, shopping, spending quality time with friends, kayaking, trying new things, catching butterflies and angels, cooking, ghirardelli and european chocolates, smiling and laughing, and aussies! Expertise:I can tell you which chocolate is yummy in your tummy
This past month was a crazy month & was one of the biggest life hurdles that I had ever faced. I am glad that the craziness passed & am very grateful of my family & over 50 friends & co-workers that have helped me during this time in my life. Before I go into detail about what happened, I want to apologize to a lot of my friends for not keeping them in the loop about what happened. You see, as the days passed, I had no idea that my health condition would worsen & when it did, I didn’t have the energy to call my friends & explain what happened. 85% of the people who were in the loop were my co-workers, & I will explain why in my detail below.
Here’s the pre-story to my story:
I fell down at Whole Foods Super Market on June 12, 2008 & this caused my knee cap to dislocate. Knee never got better, cuz I would constantly fall down & dislocate my knee cap. My doctor didn’t want to operate & felt that I can do physical therapy to heal. The next biggest fall was a day before Thanksgiving when I went to get ham for a Thanksgiving party. Fell down really hard & dislocated my knee cap. Doctor said I needed knee surgery, b/c I had damaged my muscle, ligaments, & cartilage that supported my knee cap.
Here’s the story:
On Jan 9th, I went to a top surgeon at the renowned Kerlan Jobe Sports Clinic. Kerlan Jobe does surgeries for famous sports people. Particularly my doctor at the clinic, he does surgeries for the LA Lakers Team & for the LA Kings Hockey Team. Please note that this doctor has been treating me since July 2008 & is extremely good.
After the surgery, I developed complications & from my phone conversations w/ Kerlan Jobe, the staff thought it was complications from my pain meds. I would develop fevers of over 103 degrees, & couldn’t sleep at night, & be hot & cold at the same time. On Jan 16th, I was bleeding & the Kerlan Jobe nurse wanted to see me. So my brother drove me to LA & saw the nurse after hours. The nurse looked at my leg & noticed that not only was I bleeding, but my entire leg (knee & thigh) was swollen. She told me that I needed to admit to the hospital right away (Kerlan Jobe is only out-patient).
I was in a lot of pain & didn’t know any better, so I admitted myself at Lakewood Hospital. I was eventually diagnosed w/ an infection. The infection was not the fault of my doctor but it was my own fault. When I went into surgery, I had a bad immune system & my protein level was down. You see, before the surgery, I wanted some peace & quiet, so I stayed for 1 wk retreat at a monastery where I found peace before. People were sick there & since it is a monastery, I didn’t eat meat, which brought my protein level down. When I got home from the monastery, I was still sick & was trying to eat less meat & more vegetarian stuff. Up until my surgery, I didn’t improve & didn’t know any better & went ahead w/ the surgery. Please note that I got a physical 2 weeks before the surgery & I was healthy then. Obviously timing was an issue here.
Hospital, Week 1
My stay at the Lakewood Hospital was horrible. I had 4 specialists (Internal Med Doc, Blood Doc, Orthopedist, & Infectious Disease Doc) & of these 4, I only liked my Internal Med & Infectious Disease Doc. The other two docs were difficult w/ me. As I was admitted on a Friday, I only saw the orthopedist for only Sat & Sun (Jan 17th & 18th). The orthopedist is the most important doc in my recovery as he is the only person who can perform the surgery. For the next four days I didn’t get to see him at all. It was until my boss at Raytheon & another manager, who called all my doctors & put pressure on them for a game plan for me; I finally got to see the orthopedist on Thurday, Jan 22. In between the time, I had to deal w/ a lot of pain & nurses who were cold & inattentive. When I called for the nurse, they didn’t come & see me until 1 hour to almost 2 hour later. I had an evil nurse who didn’t want to use gloves on me. When I asked her to use gloves, she asked me, “Do you have a disease?” I cried whenever she came in to help me. She would take advantage of my helplessness & yell at me. I later elevated her to the charge nurse & he apologized & made sure that she will not be assigned to me. Being in the hospital was horrible because all day long I can hear patients yelling in pain & at night time, when it is quiet, you can hear lots of patients yelling or moaning in pain. It was such a negative environment to be in.
The Lakewood Hospital’s Orthopedist had unprofessional behavior. The reason why he did not want to see me for 4 days was because he was trying to get a hold of my Kerlan Jobe doctor to see if he can operate on me. I knew Kerlan Jobe can’t operate on me b/c my doctor was out of town & he was booked until the end of January. Knowing this, he still tried to turn me over to Kerlan Jobe cuz he told me that “he didn’t feel comfortable to operate on me.”
Hospital, Week 2
Finally after my boss & manager’s persistent intervention, I had a incision & drainage surgery on Jan 23rd. I was supposed to be released on Jan 26 (Vietnamese New Years), but then I developed other complications. It turns out that since I had two knee surgeries, I lost a lot of blood. On Monday, Jan 26th, all of my 4 specialists got together & developed another game plan for me. They are going to monitor me & determined that a blood transfusion was an option. There was a point when my hemoglobin (blood level) was a 7 (normal is 11 or 12). However, I was able to improve & got my hemoglobin to a 9. Now, they determined that perhaps my bone marrow can develop the blood that I need over time & I can rely on iron pills. Then I had problems w/ my liver & white blood cells. My white blood cells (WBC) were too high. WBC gets high when it fights an infection. It turns out that my thigh still had pus & I need to drain it three times a day.
I was finally released from the hospital on Jan 30th. However, my Infectious Disease Doc wants me to be on 15 days of home nurse care & I have to be on IV/Antiobiotics during the time. I also need to drain my thigh everyday.
Forever & Deeply Grateful to Family, Friends, & Co-workers
I would like to thank everyone who took care of me, visited me, got me flowers, food, gifts, texts, & calls. All of these gave me the energy to keep fighting for my life & be strong.
Funny Story
In closing, I would like to share a funny story in the hospital, as the story above seems sad. For the first week in the hospital, I had a really strong pain med that the nurses injected straight into my vein. The pain med is called Diluidid. I don’t recommend this medicine to anyone!! It has strong reactions. After a shot of it, I would sleep for 30 min then wake up & say a lot of funny stuff & be really emotional. Sometimes when people call me when I just got injected w/ Diluidid, they would be confused. My boss had to tell people not to be scared & that there are times when I am normal & there are times when I am weird b/c of the pain med. I didn’t know how crazy I was until I checked my text messages.
On Jan 22nd,, the day before my surgery, I was injected w/ Diluidid & had a sleeping pill. Obviously the two combo drugs didn’t help me!! It got me really drugged up. On Jan 23rd, at 5 AM, I woke up & text 5 of my friends. I don’t know how I knew which friends to text, but the 5 friends were Thao Tran (NY), Bao Ngo (Norcal), Isabella (high school friend), Huy Tran (friend’s boyfriend), & Tracy (co-worker). I sent each a personalized text, asking them to find a “Chinese name for my pink turtle.” You see, I do have a stuffed animal that is a pink turtle (Tracy gave it to me when I was in the hospital). Tracy was the only one who communicated to me & I sent her another text that I wanted to name the turtle either Bing Bing, Bella, or Belle. Anyways, I sent her another text & asked if she thinks I can bring my pink turtle into the surgery room w/ me. Don’t ask me, I have no idea how I can send all of these texts at 5 AM!!! When I saw my texts, I immediately asked my doctor to change my pain med .
Today I had a heartfelt chat with a dear friend. I met my friend about 4 years ago, when I was highly active in the fight against human trafficking. We were working toward a common cause and that is how we bonded. Today, she told me that she is leaving California and it is going to be hard for her, as she will have to leave her passion, which is to fight against human trafficking (she works for Free the Slaves).
My friend's situation is similar to everyone else, where we find that letting go of something (for other people, it could be letting go of someone) is the hardest thing to do. I would like to share with you excerpts from our chats on my take on letting go:
Letting go of things, places, and people are always the hardest hurdles in life. However, letting go is never a bad thing. I would like to share with you three quotes about letting go:
1. "There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life."
2. 'We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."
3. "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."
It is hard to let go b/c we are giving up on something that became a part of us and for which we are comfortable with. Letting go means going into an unknown that we are not sure what the future will hold and weather or not we made the right choice. I commended my friend for recognizing that she has to let go and have the strength and positive attitude for her new journey.
Letting go of something we are so passionate about is definitely the hardest. But in doing this, she is embarking on a journey where she will be able to experience personal growth and self discovery. To share with you my experience, two years ago, I had to let go of my passions. It was definitely a hard choice, and I cried almost everyday because of this. I am glad that I let go of my passion in the past, as it is worth it in the end. As a result of my letting go, my health is a lot better and I am on the path to healing myself. I discovered so much about myself. It makes me stronger and now that I am slowly coming back to the things and causes that I am deeply passionate about, I am a different person - I am more mature and able to share my positiveness with so many people.
I also let my friend know that in life, there is no such thing as making a bad choice. When we make choices, we should be positive and positive things will happen.
It has been exactly a year since I started to practice meditation. I find that my 12 month journey has been filled with lots of self discovery and personal growth. I have to admit that when I first started meditation, I felt a sense of being lost, as I was not sure if I was meditating correctly. It wasn't until about two months ago that I finally learned how to meditate properly. How did I know that I reached that point? It is because I finally felt liberated.
Liberated
Feeling liberated is the best feeling ever. This feeling started two months ago, when I went to a meditation retreat at Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh's Deer Park Monastery. I would never thought I was able to feel this way. This has given me a much more positive outlook on life. My outlook and demeanor is back to when I was very young and just started college. At that time, I wanted to learn and experience everything that life has to offer.
My passion for life has returned!
Health
In addition to feeling liberated, my health has improved TREMENDOUSLY as well. As some of you may know, I have skin disorder called psoriasis. This started four years ago. At that time, I went to see a lot of western doctors and they all have told me that my skin disorder is not curable. Living with psoriasis was already difficult, but hearing from all the doctors that you can not cure this made me really sad and depressed. At that time, I could not accept to have a skin disorder that was "not curable." That sounded so permanent. I was used to finding an answer for everything. So when I was diagnosed with this, I felt really alone. I tried many western medicine to better my health (taking weekly injections and steroid creams). However western medicine was too strong for my body and that caused many negative side effects, such as weight gain and depression.
My health has improved ever since I have meditated. Of course, I attribute my good health to a healthy diet, vitamins, natural herbs, exercise, and a positive outlook as well. I am PROUD to say that after four years of living with psoriasis, I am almost healed.
I am really thankful for all of my friends and family who have helped me get to this point. I heart you guys.
August was filled with ups and downs for me. To get away from all the stress I was facing, I took time out of work to go and live in a Buddhist Monastery for a short period of time. It was defintiely a good move for me, as I came out of the monastery, feeling refreshed and lively.
To recap what happened, the first week of August, I went to my friend's wedding. On the day of the wedding, I had an allergic reaction. It wasn't to food, but it was to make-up that my make-up artist/friend put on me. The allergic reaction caused my face, neck, and ears to break out with excema. The second week, I got another allergic reaction. This time it was to food. My friend let me sample his food, and as result, my psoriasis on my body got worse. Before August, the psoriasis on my body was about 50%. After the 2 allergic reactions, it jumped to 70%.
I was extremely sad with how my body reacted. For the past year, I have been working so hard to heal my psoriasis. Psoriasis is affected by stress, diet, and hormones.
DIET Over the past year, I have completely changed my diet. I added more fruits and vegetables to my diet. I cut out junk food by 90%. And the past month, I cut out dairy, gluten, and some seafood. The golden diet for psoriasis is:
1. No spicy food 2. No alcohol, coffee, and tea 3. No gluten 4. No dairy 5. No seafood/red meat 6. No sugar 7. No citrus fruits 8. No nightshade veggies (potato, tomatoes, eggplants) 9. No oily food 10. Eat lots of raw veggies and fruits
So, you see, this golden diet was hard to follow, esp for someone like me, who is a big eater. In June, I did adopted some of this into my diet and did see some changes to my psoriasis. However, I was usually bad during the weekeneds, when I consumed junk food. So of course, during the weekends, my psoriasis would flair up and during the week, it would calm down and sometimes the patches would get really smaller.
When my psoriasis was extremely severe in August, I decided to adopt the golden diet for psoriasis. I was very sad, esp after 2 weeks of the diet, that I didn't see any changes to my body.
Towards the end of August, I wanted to get away from everything, so I took a trip with my good college buddies to Hawaii. Hawaii was a nice and relaxing weekend, and it did calm my excema down. However, 1 bad thing did happen and that was when I dislocated my other knee!!! If you guys remember, I dislocated my right knee in June. Now, my left knee is dislocated! WTF?? Thank God that I was in Hawaii, since all the water sports helped relieve the knee pain.
When I got back from Hawaii and returned to my lifestyle, my excema came back and my right knee started to get painful. At that point, I really knew I had to get away. A buddist nun then told me about Deer Park Monastery in Escondido.
DEER PARK MONASTERY (TU VIEN LOC UYEN)
I stayed at Deer Park for a total of 4 days. Deer Park was started by the renowned Thich Nhat Hanh. Deer Park is big and beautiful. It is a secluded place, located in the mountains of Escondido. The place is almost as big as Long Beach State College (maybe a lil smaller). There, I felt like in a new world, more closer to nature. I basically lived the life of a nun. Each day, I woke up at 5AM and mediated. During the day, I went to listen to dharma talks and meditated some more. Deer Park is great in a sense that it helped me master my meditation skills. At Deer Park, the bell rang more than 6 times during the day. It is rule that when you hear the bell ring, you are suppose to freeze, close your eyes, and clear your mind (basically meditate). After a day at Deer Park, the meditation becomes as part of you, as whenever the bell rings, I would automatically meditate.
I noticed a change to my psoriasis after a day at Deer Park. The patches on my body was fading and the psoriasis on my fingers cleared up. This made me happy.
Deer Park Lifestyle
Deer Park is totally catered towards Vietnamese Americans. All the signs are in English and Vietnamese and there are English translaters.
I loved the lifestyle at Deer Park. At Deer Park, you are taught to be calm and mindful of everything that you do. This is reflected in the different meditations that we did (walking meditation and sitting meditation). In the dining hall, there were signs reminding us to think about how our food is brought to us (think: farmers, trucks, people at the markets, etc, etc).
The monks/nuns were awesome too. They were very down to earth. For instance, during the day when we play vollyball, the monks would join too. And when we created a skit for Tet Trung Thu that involved hip hop dancing, they danced with us too.
Baptized
I felt a strong bond at this monastery and wanted to Qui Y (baptized) here. On Sunday, there was a beautiful ceremony and Thay Thich Nhat Hanh gave me the name Tam Tri Lieu (meaning: Healing of the Mind).
Tet Trung Thu
I celebrated my first Tet Trung Thu at the monastery. There were about 100 attendees and we were all divided into groups to create skits for entertainment. It was a night filled with warmth, harmony, and laughter. After the entertainment, we paraded towards the mountain top with our lanterns. We created a beautiful scenery, with the moon lighting our path, as we look down the mountain, at the parade of people with their beautiful litted lanterns.
Refreshed
I left the monstery, feeling really refreshed and happy. When I came home, my mom and brother also noticed the same thing. My mom said that I don't have the depressed look on my face and brother told me that I speak with more clarity.
Howdy everyone! I am getting a new phone and need your opinion. My two year contract with Tmobile has expired and so I called them to see what freebies/deals I can get. Sooo....I was offered:
BlackBerry Curve for $149
OR
BlackBerry Pearl for $99
Basically, I wanted a phone with email and internet access. At first, I wanted the Pearl, b/c it is small. But I got the Curve b/c I figure I can get used to the big size. I have 30 days to decide weather to keep the Curve.
I wanna know which one do you guys have? Curve or Pearl? Which one do you like and why?
